epic comment back to Apple fan boy haters

Just posted this response to the dude who founded Newsvine.

Thanks for the feedback Mike.

First: Hope everything is going well at MSNBC. I respect what you set
out to accomplish with Newsvine and as I’ve told you I think it is/was
an interesting experiment and fairly well executed–but perhaps a
little too early. You could say I’m a fan of your work.

Second: I don’t judge myself by twitter follower count–I think such
things are absurd and I’ve been fairly clear about that from the
start. Additionally, I never asked to be a “weblebrity” or whatever
folks choose to call folks who get 5x the attention of an average
person online.

I simply build products that I think people will enjoy and find
helpful, and that I enjoy building. The 100+ blogs at Weblogs, Inc,
Silicon Alley Reporter, TechCrunch50, This Week in Startups, Mahalo
and Open Angel Forum (to name a few) are all project I took on and
created because I had a passion for the space the folks who would
consume and use the products.

Since you’ve made this personal I will tell you that I try not to
judge myself too much, I try to just be a good person and doing things
I enjoy. When I do take the time to reflect I base my worth on if I’m
a good husband, father, friend, brother, son, teacher, mentor, angel
investor and human. There is a human behind the persona that has
become Jason Calacanis.

I certainly do not judge myself on my Twitter count–especially since
half of it was gamed from offing free Nexus One phones and a Mac Book
Air. 🙂

Getting that out of the way, in all honesty, I didn’t think I was
fooling anyone. I actually thought I was making a joke. What you left
out of the tweets above were the ones where I said:

a) the iPad had a solar panel for charging ($200-300 in cost)
b) the iPad had an HDTV tuner ($150-250 in cost)
c) the iPad had a DVR (a DVR!!!) ($500 in cost)
d) the iPad had a wireless pad you could lay it on to charge ($300 in cost)
e) the iPad had two cameras front and back so you could do augmented
reality video conferencing ($500 in cost)
f) the iPad had facial recognition and that was how you logged in.
g) the iPad and biometrics on either side where you could login with
your thumbpring and flip through pages ($100-200 in cost)
h) the iPad had a mesh gaming network for playing a custom Farmville
application that let lifestock move from one iPad to another.

It was intended to be an absurd joke and 95% of the feedback I was
getting was from folks who were laughing saying it was a brilliant

So, I went to bed and slept well only to wake up to the fact that a
couple of blogs and the Wall Street Journal took my spec and said it
was fact. They didn’t look at the other half of the conversation on
twitter where EVERYONE was laughing and joking.

If it was a performance, and well, the WSJ didn’t see the audience
laughing. They didn’t look at the RESPONSES to me from that night.

The device I describe above would be well over 7-10 pounds and have at
least $2,000 in parts. The hard drive and memory of that device would
make it a VIDEO GAME LEVEL LAPTOP FROM ALIENWARE! There is no way it
could be designed for $499 in a 1.5 pound package!!!

Only a lazy person or someone who was so hopeful and drunk on Steve
Jobs ability to bend the laws of physics and economics would ever
believe this was possible….. or a journalist who was soooooooo
desperate to get page views that they would print an OBVIOUS joke as

… or perhaps journalist who doesn’t think about the laws of physics
and economics.

In that way my simple joke that the JesusPad was everything and I that
I was blessed to get one for 10 days before anyone AND in that
position of trust was willing to destroy Steve Jobs’ keynote, was SO
ABSURD only a zealot, an idiot or someone playing along would believe.

It seems our industry has become filled with Apple zombies who believe
that Steve Jobs can walk on water, and it’s obvious that the iPad is
no better than the HP Slate or an HTC running Google’s Chrome. In
fact, Bill Gates built better tablets five years ago!

Steve Jobs pulled the wool over everyone by making them believe this
product was a revolution, and I inadvertently exposed the fact that
some folks loose all common sense when it comes to Apple products.

The Reality Distortion Field is strong!!!

That being said, I’m sorry to have designed a device that everyone
wants in the face of Steve Jobs’ tablet which, apparently, is
underwhelming when compared to the Jason’s Tablet–also known as the

If you want to pre-order the JTab please send $2,500 to my paypal at
jason at calacanis.com. DISCLAIMER: If you are too stupid to know that
was a joke, and you do send me $2,500 I will donate it to Haiti under
the name of Owa Tagoose Iam.

all the best,


40 thoughts on “epic comment back to Apple fan boy haters

  1. Except then you kept it up after the announcement by claiming you had a “2.0” version coming out in October.

    If it was a joke, it wasn’t a really good one, was it? If we define “good joke” as one that people laugh at – then people have to GET the joke – and that’s just as much the jokerster’s responsibility as anyone else’s.

  2. Anybody who cared to spend time listening to Jason’s TWIST show will know that he loves to tease the Apple fanboys. There is no way that Apple would give him a demo unit. His tweets the other night were so obviously a joke that it is ridiculous that any legit news org would take them seriously. As for others who felt let down, Caveat Emptor.

  3. Wow Jason, you wasted way too much time on these idiots.

    They badmouthed you for ruining “journalism” but in reality,
    it is they that are ruining it by not doing the fact checking
    that would obviously have shown you to be playing a joke.

    Did they really think you would violate an NDA hours before
    press time?

  4. Love it! What a stereotypical journalist, take what’s believable and leave out the obviously fake to breed a whole different story. Clearly sucks at research, it takes more than someone’s individual tweets to get the whole picture. Replies, retweets, etc. Twitter isn’t 1 sided. When an event off the web is covered, witnesses are interviewed as well, not the one person.

    Well done Mr. Calacanis

  5. I think the whole point of the article was, joke or not it is bad press to mis-lead your audience. Though it may be something you would have picked up on, obviously others (such as WSJ) may not.

  6. It was funny… I think those prices are a little high for the “extras” but whatever. No big deal.

    I don’t see it as a REVOLUTIONARY device. the iphone/ipod touch already did that. the iPad is an EVOLUTIONARY device.

    I don’t get the excitement. It’s stuff we already had.

  7. I think your component cost estimates are a little high. Since you cane purchase HDTV tuners in USB sticks for less than $90, I doubt it would have to be $150-250 in cost. The existence of a hard drive would mean that the DVR functionality could be handled primarily through software. I can make my MacBook Pro a DVR for about $120 including 3rd party accessories. Again, something Apple should be able to do for far less than $500. I glossed over the wireless pad, but if it was not included in the price and only incorporated the inductive charging circuitry in the pad, we are way below $300. iPhoto already has facial recognition, so there should be very little cost there. Biometrics are widespread and not necessarily expensive if they aren’t super accurate. I think your camera cost estimates are off by 1000-2000%. Your $499-699 price points could have included subsidies from the carrier as well. All told, when you frame that against a publisher spilling the beans about something that should have been confidential within hours of your tweets, against your standing as a tech personality, against your earnest claims that this was the truth, against Apple’s ability to deliver a device in the iPhone that shattered preconceived notions of what could be packed into that space, and against the rumors that this had to be a mind-blowing device to fill a niche that no one thinks exists for the mainstream user, it is not unreasonable for us to fall for your ruse. It wasn’t April 1. There is no punch line. You don’t write for the Onion. You used no sarcmark. I am not an electrical or software engineer, but I am a mechanical engineer who has worked on consumer and professional electronic gadgets for 18 years, so I don’t think of myself as a gullible rube with no reference point for understanding your features.

  8. I was one of the ones laughing at your tweets.
    You are and a**hole, you know that, but a funny one 😉

  9. Nice reality check really.A certain J.D. Salinger quote, seems especially fitting in this case:

    “All morons hate it when you call them a moron”

  10. Simple knowledge transfer: Jason is a master at linkbaiting and decided to show off some of I believe this is more a case of tweetbaiting skills.

  11. The most amazing part of this entire saga, to me, is the fact that there are STILL people that are so stubborn and humorless that they are still arguing ethics/fairness/credibility with you.

    For the love of god, people, give it up. JASON GOT YOU. Be a normal, level-headed person and say “Haha, you got me! Good one!”, re-calibrate your “everything I read on the internet must be true” meter and move on, lesson learned, and better off for the experience.

  12. Jason, you can feel smug and believe you did no wrong. But the truth is that you LIED. You might think it was joke. You might arrogantly say that anyone stupid enough to take you at your word did not understand your humor and is a fool. WRONG. When you write under the guise of presenting knowledgeable information, especially when you make your profession as a communicator, you have a contract with your audience. To be deceitful is not funny. As another respondent above noted, it’s click-whoring. I think it’s more: I call it infantile dishonesty.

    One difference between a blogger and a professional journalist is that in most cases, a true journalist has the adult supervision of an editor and a publisher. It appears, after your latest stunt, that you are in desperate need of a more adult presence to give you some badly needed perspective. I am tired of sophomoric tricks by bloggers like you, Jason. Trust lost is trust that cannot be regained.

    Conclusion: FAIL

  13. Jason, it was a dumb joke. But the people who believed it were far, far dumber. Anyone with half a braincould have worked out that what you were suggesting would cost well over $1000.

    But when it comes to Apple stuff, wish fulfillment takes over – so it’s no surprise that people Want To Believe 🙂

  14. Hehe, well you’ve obviously read Peter F Hamilton. Do you think when(not if) computers implanted directly into your brain become reality, Apple will be on the forefront of that? Or is Apple’s appeal all about shiny toys and when it’s all inside your head, it doesn’t matter how shiny it is?

  15. Gotta say it was pretty stupid of Jason to do this. Definitely was not funny. At the least he wasted a lot of time for people. At worst…, well that’s already obvious. Also, it takes a big head to call this weak response an “epic comment”. Jason’s a smart guy, but this was plain stupid.

  16. First thing I said to my flatmate is “Look at this! @Jason is taking the piss! LOL!”
    Then “I wonder how many people will believe he has one?” and we both laughed.

    PS: “Taking the piss” in Australian is equivalent to having a joke at someone elses expense or just plain lying. 😉

  17. Sorry Jason, I think it was a cheap, crass and irresponsible thing to do to do
    You did it to build followers, I have really enjoyed reading some of your newsletters and often admired your no-bullshit attitude to business.
    But I’ll be unsubscribing now as quite frankly I don’t have the timeto decipher how much of it is indeed bullshit or not.


  18. You really have to wonder how Jason made his money because he’s clearly lacking in intelligence. Perhaps he’s learned to monetise pomposity because he’s definitely lacking in the brain department. It’s probably an awareness of this that contributes to his constant need to self-aggrandise.

    So, onto the embarrassingly smug response posted above. Firstly, the article you respond to CLEARLY says that you are in the group of ‘relentless self-promoters’ rather than the group of people who judge themselves by twitter followers. So your point about how little you care about such things is irrelevant. And while you take time to deflect a criticism that wasn’t made, you have no rejoinder to his actual point (because it’s entirely accurate).

    Secondly, your point that it was ridiculous for people to believe you because there was no way all of that stuff could weight 1.5 pounds and be half an inch think is moot, as you’d know if you had a brain filled with anything other than David Brent-isms and self-help nonsense. At the time you were tweeting no one knew the price or the weight/dimensions of this thing. So no one could discount your claims based on their inability to fit into an as-yet unannounced form factor.

    And while your tweets did become increasingly outlandish, it is clear to all but the Calacanis fanboys (and your sycophantic flunkies) that this was link bait of the most obnoxious kind. This Mike guy absolutely nails you for it and no amount of “I’m a human being under all this” BS is going to stop anyone with any critical faculties from crossing your name off the list of people with credibility or integrity.

  19. Even the title of this post shows how big of a douche you are. “epic comment” seriously? No one should ever refer to themselves as epic. If it is truly “epic” then let others make that claim for you: don’t make it yourself. I see why bullies picked on you as a child. I’d write a post about why people should boycott you, but you aren’t worth the time.

  20. Folks who believed in his joke probably also wired money to bogus requests asking for administrative fee in “transferring millions dollars of inheritance locked up in some offshore island bank account”.

  21. Jason has done more for the tech and start-up community than anybody else out there. But he is suitable for an intelligent audience only.

    To anybody who took offense here, GET a sense of humour or go and play somewhere else.

    And as for pseudo pundits like Mike Industries trying to take the moral high ground and give social media advice such as “Never Dupe Your Readers” I would suggest that you instead contribute something genuine to the community rather than tout for traffic by backstabbing.

    If you want a starting point for where to contribute, follow Jason’s lead.

    Good stuff Jason, you’re a legend!

  22. And they wonder why old media is dying? Seriously,
    I don’t need help to read twitter. But I hear flipping burgers
    is an honorable profession, once this lame excuse for journalism
    is done with.

  23. Jeez. Calacanis wasn’t even trying to get people, and he still got them. If people don’t know how to do a simple background check on new media, they shouldn’t be using it at all.

    Best of all was Loren Feldman’s screaming over how you’re ruining tech journalism. I hope he just loses his voice one day.

  24. I think what you did is awesome! I like my Macs too but
    people need to have a sense of humor about these things. Keep

  25. It never occurs to people like you that some *might* just like Apple products? No, in your mind the only reason someone likes something that Apple produces is because they are a fanboy. “XY product has *these* features though”. *That is what a fanboy actually sounds like. It’s puerile. You know what? I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. Why am it telling you this? Because you have made it your business to tell *EVERYONE*, hence the twitter jibes, perhaps…

    Ssshhhh now. You and frankly everyone else that is talking about the device is getting boring. You’ll do well to remeber that. The one’s “hyping” this are you and bloggers like you. You did it before *and* after the fact.

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