The Unbearable Wearable: Google Glass is Brilliant, Loathsome and Not Inevitable (or “Take Those off before I Punch You in the Face!”)

I’ve run into several friends wearing Google Glass in the past three months, and I have three words of advice for them:

Take. Them. Off.

First, you look like an idiot.

Second, you’re killing the party.

Third, are you recording me right now?!?

 

First Encounter: “Are You Recording Right Now?”

The first time I ran into these magical devices in the wild was at a conference. A fairly notable person walked up to me wearing them.

I asked, “How do I know if you’re recording me?”

“You don’t!” he replied before correcting himself. “Well, I wouldn’t do that without telling you.”

“But *how* do I know? I’m not really comfortable with trusting folks to be recording me or not. I mean, how do we have a real, honest discussion if I don’t know if you’re recording it?” I offered.

“Well, you might be able to see me turn the camera on… See, you have to click to record,” he replied.

So I’m supposed to just trust every person wearing these that they’re not recording me.

Sure.

Like I trusted Obama that he would unwind the police state that Bush put in place, close Guantanamo, restore due process and stop torturing people?

That kind of trust?

As far as I know, Obama’s only done one of those things, and frankly, given recent events, I’m not convinced Obama wouldn’t rubber stamp some Bush-era waterboarding. Think about it: FBI or CIA comes up with a clever way to justify to Obama we might get some clarity on the Boston bombings, and all we need to do is torture Tsarnaev — just a little — you don’t think he couldn’t be convinced?

Of course Obama would, and I’m going to guess he’s approved a bunch of torture — or had someone approve it at a safe distance.

Change you can believe in FTW!

Ugh. Ly.

Anyway, back to the event.

I asked my friend, “Will you take them off so we can talk?”

“No, I’m running an experiment to keep them on for a month!” he proudly retorted.

“OK.”

At this point, I turned around and walked away. To my mind, this was the douchiest moment of 2013.

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