This just in: The Paris Hilton and Britney Spears Porn Tape!

Call me a cynic, but at this point it has become clear that releasing “home movies” are part of an overall marketing strategy by the media. As such, look for the following in the near future:

  • Creation and leaking of “home movies” as part of a recording or TV contract: “Before the delivery of a fifth CD, and immediately before the release a best of‘ compilation, the artist agrees to create and release an private adult video. Such creation will remain the property of the artist, but will be available for reasonable publicity purposes by the corporation.”)

  • Three of the following in a home movie: Paris Hilton, Madonna, Britney Spears, Snoop Dog and William Shatner.

  • Celebrity Porn Uncensored #12 on E!

  • Former child-celebrity “home videos” from: Screech, Gary Coleman, Shannon Doherty and Elizabeth Berkeley (or just about any other cast member of Saved by the Bell, 90210 or [insert late 80s sitcom here]).